Understanding Masking: A Guide for Autistic Adults

Summary

Masking is something many autistic people do, often without realising it. It means hiding or changing parts of yourself to fit in, feel safe, or meet expectations. For many, especially those diagnosed autistic later in life, learning to recognise and understand masking is a big part of self-discovery.

Unmasking can feel freeing, but it also needs to be done in a way that feels safe. This guide gently explores what masking is, why we do it, and how to think about unmasking with care and self-compassion.

2. What is Masking?

Masking is when an autistic person hides or suppresses parts of their autistic identity.

This might mean:

Masking can be something we learn over time, especially when we are told to “act normal,” punished for stimming, or praised for hiding our discomfort.

3. Why Do Autistic People Mask?

Autistic people often mask as a form of:

• • Self-preservation
    – to avoid bullying, misunderstanding, or exclusion
• • Social survival
    – to fit in, make friends, or meet expectations at work or school
• • People pleasing
    – to avoid conflict, keep others happy, or avoid judgment
• • Coping with a non-autistic world
    – trying to meet unspoken social rules that do not feel natural

4. Language and Identity: Choosing Words That Feel Right To You

For many autistic adults, especially those diagnosed later in life, one of the hardest questions is:

Try asking yourself the following questions…

Unmasking does not mean becoming a “different” person – it is about getting closer to your true authentic self.

5. Unmasking: What It Means and Why It Is Complicated

At Autistic Knowledge Development, we do not believe that unmasking is always the right or safe choice in every situation.

Sometimes it is not safe to unmask, especially in certain workplaces, schools, or relationships.

Unmasking might mean:

• • Letting yourself stim

  • Saying no to social events that drain you

  • Speaking honestly about your needs

  • Spending time with people who ‘get’ you

It’s a process – not a switch you flip.

6. Is Masking Always Harmful?

Masking can:

• • Help you stay safe
  • Keep your job or education opportunities
  • Avoid judgment or bullying

But long-term masking can lead to: 

• • Autistic burnout

  • Exhaustion and disconnection

  • Anxiety and depression

  • Identity confusion

Masking is complex. Sometimes it helps. Sometimes it hurts. The key is to be curious, not critical.

7. Questions to Ask Yourself

Use these prompts to check-in with yourself:

• • Where in my life do I feel like I am masking the most?

  • What is the emotional or physical cost of that?

  • Is masking helping or harming me here?

  • Do I want to change anything – and is it safe to?

  • Where can I be my authentic self right now?

8. Finding Safe Spaces to Be Yourself

Not all unmasking has to happen in explicitly ‘autistic’ spaces.

Look for:

• • Autistic peer support groups

  • Shared interest communities (gaming, crafts, nature walks)

  • Neurodivergent-led events or organisations

  • Friendships where you feel relaxed and understood

Being around people who accept the unfiltered, authentic you can be freeing.

9. Key Takeaways

• • Masking is a common autistic experience – often learned without us realising
• • It can help keep us safe, but over time can harm our wellbeing
• • Unmasking is not all-or-nothing – it is about finding safe places to lower your guard
• • You are not alone – exploring your identity with other autistic people can be validating and empowering
• • It is okay to go at your own pace

10. Watch the Embrace Autism Video: Masking

Related Guides